Gone Awry... Sidetracked... Zoning Out...

It seems my pysche has totally gone awry...
Wat im tryin to say is that my mental state is not normal much...

Is it due to the accumulated stress frm the previous time which i forced to lock away instead of solving them all?
Y didnt i solve the problems instead of storing/locking/sealing them away?
Well the answer to that question is obvious...
I jus didnt hav the time to settle them... Yet ther are those that I couldnt solve in my current unmatured state of one's self...

My mood swings weirdly all over again which is much worse than the last incident...
At least the swings are within controlling emotions which is kinda a good news since the last one were all too violent type...
Now, its jus swinging frm happy to pre-depression... But not yet to pre-depression, more like sulking and feelin down... Uncertain n unwanted...

That type i guess... Happiness? well happiness level aint that high.. many things are flowin into my mind n unintentionally thinking abt them most of the time distracts me frm reality and wats happening in frnt of me...

Again, again n yet again, this problem occurs... My granma told me that i always look distant as if i was somewher else far far away...
I hav to agree wif her, sumtimes i jus zone out like TOTALLY FAR AWAY...
But it doesnt occur in places wher its noisy and stuff... N oso crowded... Except for public transportation when im sittin down...
Dunnoe why public transport is different since it can b crowded and noisy as well...
I do zone out in sch like during classes n such but it doesnt happen soo often ba...
Like once a while... Wen the lessons damn boring or wen i strt to unintentionally think too much...

My sis says that i look like a robot processing info wen im zoning out back in our younger days...
Yes... this weird habit and occurence has been happening since i was still a kid...
My granma told me i was the worry-sort of a guy... I tink too much on how i will affect others and outcome upon my actions...

They say, tink bfr acting rite? But it applies damn so upon my case... I realli tink it thru wat effect may turn out frm my cause... Well, these things only happen wen im not in my random mode... Wats my random mode.. well its a 'mode' that my persona takes over wifout me knowing it n like randomly do stuff or say it out loud... Thanks to that, i've unintentionally yet again made ppl think im a jokester by being random and a carefree guy...

Well, persona facade are those that make others look at me the way the persona arises out for...
Im still searching for my trueself, which i one day want to really know and discover and also for it to show itself as my main facade...